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Archive for July, 2015

Last few months I myself seemed to be so hospital prone that I am hating it all but then I managed to watch a few movies …

After a long time watched a movie I felt was brilliant.I mean scientific concepts put together in such beautiful emotional way in “Inside Out“.

Of course as usual I guess it was more of a confirmation bias. Ive always had a thing against people who preached that stupid concept of “All is Well”
denying or trying to obscure the part  sadness , darkness and fears in shaping our personalities.

“The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.” ― Brené Brown

Though the major part in the movie is for joy and sadness , the part anger , fear plays in building a persons life can never be ignored.

I was wondering how at a point in time my fear and disgust of handling calls , people and frustration turned to sheer anger and
that anger worked more to drive away the fear than anything else to allow me to be more communicative verbally to people
than I probably ever could by being calm and nice and proper I guess.

And then before that I had watched Piku.

I’ve never related to a movie more closely.
Nearing a year since I lost my father it seemed like a recap of our life – the incidents matching so closely that  It literally had me and my sis eyeing each other more than the movie –
again wondering about the old adage. Life Imitates Art or Art Imitates life ?

He once accused our maid of drinking oil.

The almost exact description of doctors he gave as soon as he came out of ICU.” lets go away dear .. they wont let you die here and they cant make you live.”

And we had something in our home that too closely resembled that Chair.

But well the best part of the movie is now whenever my well wishers and dear friends start on their favorite advice
” Why dont you drive your car. Its nothing that hard”. I can tell them. Please watch the movie and understand
“why my subconscious has been so well trained by fear by my father that I consciously can never get over it”

His love for samosas and pakodas and the same exact words he used when we all who loved to travel wanted to go for a trip.
“Why go out … All beaches are same.lets stay nicely at home relax , make pakodas and eat nah ?”
So many other small nuances . It was one of the most nostalgic movies for me.
It was hard to live with someone so dominating and yet with him gone forever ,
he still dominates so much of our memories.
We laugh at our own selves at the huge appetite for life our parents have , compared to so little they had and here we are not even 40 years and tired of life !!.
And then I look at some 20 year olds and well it kind of feels better.

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