Archive for August, 2006

Life can be absolutely excruciatingly funny……or ironic.
Ah irony…where i learnt the word first….in school in Shakespeare and now here i saw it so perfectly.

It was a pretty surprise to find someone on the net  from over a decade back….from my  school i left far away in a far off sleepy town…and then to know that all the while ..that person was in the same city as me.
For some time i was simply wondering ……. it so strange…really.

But neverthless it was a nice look back on days past…and a reminder of the way life affects us….i remembered the person i was 14 yrs ago….the word probably used about me
fitted just fine  “painfully shy”….i hardly am that anymore though i still am extremely hesitant to speak with strangers….and with acquaintances i just blabber a lot…by my standards if not everybody.
Also it could be due to the fact that im surounded my a chirpy bunch of freshers who unlike most of the people of my batch weighed down by taking up the responsiboilities of life …….have had the best in life early and are so very positive and yeah for me it helps to have such a kind around ….else i tend to drown in my dark observations……
V and P both girls  would be done with their notice period this week and i’d be quite bored at office…..of course there would be lot of work this coming months but still those two were  really sweet and smart and fun girls to have around……they never let you brood even for a minute…and when u tended to lapse into those dark thoughts and they buzzd you or teased you ….i sort of used to get irritated but then i a moment i realised they honestly what a difference they make.

yeah ive not changed at all at the core….i guess no one does…but ive moved on …..for better or worse.


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Came across a lovely post on the net i mean …for some one like me its like a very interesting post i mean
Embracing Your Insanity

The author tells how better it is to do what you feel …. may be he meant it at a higher level for management people based on all his examples but well here’s the insane everyday life i live….here in this world where everyone tells you of controlling your mind and mind over matter i’ve always beleived in giving the heart a wee bit too much leeway.

Well i tell myself that always……

only i am scared for so many people these days….with my very small insane thoughts.

I used to do it earlier a lot at my previous job and do it now occasionally.

Basically it means when you you get a dumb horrid terrible customer no harm in giving it back a little.

When you want to throttle your manager ….. you can at least smash the keyboard .

When mom’s out and kitchen is too much to handle before leaving to work after those rare 7.30 am wake up smashing a few porcelain cups makes you feel fine.(it relaxed me hugely that day honestly !!!!!! )

When you are in real hurry you walk to the gate and feel you need to have a glass of water.

When there is a Client call to attend you feel like sleeping just a lil bit late that day….Ah it s a strange good feeling …..

Doodling up some nice pic and then criss crossing across it.

Downloading songs and ebooks though no time to use them at all these days.

Browsing blogs and writing stupid posts after a tiring day at office that too when you have to study for some damned exam you paid thousands to write.

As far as eccentricity goes well hmm im not rich so i can only be weird…as is said in the post.

But yeah this post reminds me of a comment i left god knows where saying………..

” While i find so many interesting thoughts on Blogs……discussing books and such wonderful topics, such bold and different thoughts about social change……in real world its way so boring and following the norm and playing safe kinda people.Why!!! ”

Insanity is great on Internet………
Its yet to catch on in reality…………..

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Lost on Everest….

I first read about this when i somehow pickedup the Geographic issue.I mean while i love mountains my love for montains is the Ruskin Bond kind….those prety hills walks ….fresh beautiful nature.But well challenge and defiance of the odds of nature like Everest is a different story.

As i read about the horrific difficulties faced by people in those days and yet time and again they returned to what they term as conquering Everest its amazing human nature.Well of all those stories one I was quite a bit curious abt some person found after nearly 75 years mumified on Everest.

The story of a Climber quite well known in his time called Mallory and Irvine who dissapeared in 1924 without a trace while very close to being the first to climb Everest.Its very debatable and controversial even to this day….and whenever there’s controversy fascinating facts are dug out.Theres quite some stuff on the net about it too i guess.

But when i found this book in the Library “Lost on Everest-The Search for Mallory and Irvine” by Peter First Brook i sure picked it up.But what i liked was the book instead of just going on about the controversy gave a background of what may drive people to such endeavours.

It starts off with how Mallory being an exceptional Climber had his nemesis like most brilliant people he had a terrible habit of forgetting.The author slowly fleshes out the root cause of why there was a need within Mallory to prove himself…in an era when almost everyone was involved in the War he was prevented to be in it.Hence his only chance to prove himself was Everest and how it slowly grew upon him like an obsession though on side of it he had begun to develop a distaste for the conditions and the country he still pursued it .

There is also a brief description of the politics of the era and how it all affected the climbing of Everest.

It also shows the other side of a somewhat bright individual…inability to take decisions on life for himself as is put across in the book….most of his life’s decisions were finally made by other people…he never being able to be conclusive or taking a stand on anything.

The books shows the human frailities of a someone who almost would see a cut above usual humans when you think he almost climbed Everest in a few tweed jackets….and none of todays modern equipments.

A letter from him to his friend shows it

“The mountain has taken its tol among us; but lord , how much worse it might have been! David its an infernal mountain, cold and treacherous…Perhaps its folly to go up again.But how can i be out of the hunt”

But if you read lengths of the book especially the last moments of their known life details all alone you would feel a strange helpless feeling .Imagine two people alone in a chilly place with hardly much clothing unlike todays standards and then they dissapear.

You just wonder about the oh so many possibilities
They could have theoretically at least reached the summit their life long desire and then been killed during descent.
They could have been killed all alone while ascent itself though none expected that.
One had dies before the other …..how much worse it would have felt for that other one who had been alive then.

Also Mallory’s body was recovered miraculously in 1999 in a very preserved state almost 75 yrs later and Irvine’s is still not found. Actually it was spotted much earlier by a Chinese climbers but the person who spotted it and had spoken of it dies on Everest the next day.It is such a mystery of nature that makes man feel so small and alone despite his boasts and conquests.

And then there is the description of how Mallory’s wife found out about his death ….by a reporter at the door asking for her reaction about it as he was unaware that she did not know….How cruel the media was and is i guess.

One passage which really describes the chilling truth of the dangers there and life and it chances was this.
“I made one or two last attempts to breathe, but nothing happened.Fianlly i pressed my chest with both hands, gave one last almighty push- and the obstruction came up.What a releif.Coughing up a little blood i once more breathed really freely– more freely than i had for some days…I was a new man.”It was a lucky escape for Somervell , who was seconds away from suffocation; he had coughed up the frostbitten mucus lining of his larynx.
If all this is a simple human perspective of it….then there are people like this article in Hindu (http://www.hinduonnet.com/fline/fl1612/16120970.htm) who show the whole political side of it…the color race discrimination, colonial rule and what not and how every human being while living his own personal life and desires is a political pawn in the end.

The book though was a good read but somehow whenever i read those last pages describing his last sighting you feel so eerie and lonely imagining two normal simple people stranded alone in that chilly snow and hazardous rock mountain….and the whole tragedy and mystery of it.It seems after the body was discovered the possibilities actually matched what was told by a psychic to John Noel the person who had seen them last .

As the author says there is so much to tantalize and so little to enlighten.

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Hmm Well I disliked the movie sure and so did many others but well what i did not like was the reasons actually they are giving for it. Its way too stupid the way its being projected as though if you just see that movie you’’ll think about ending your relationships.

While i thought the way the story was handled sucked big time but unlike others i think the theme was just fine….whats the use of continuing any relationship which simply adds on pain with every passing second. People comment saying that its so bad of Karan Johar to say its ok to walk out of a marriage even when a child is involved.
Well do these people ever think that it affects a child worse if they have a set of parents who stay together but always hate each other sometimes openly and sometimes indirectly.Its better if they go seperate ways amicably i guess and if the child is well provided for rather than subject a child to falsified marital bliss and then ask the child to repay one fine day for all the sacrifices made.
In fact the way Shahrukh treated his kid in first half i think he would be better off without such a Dad.But then thats serious stuff.

Actually one chap commented really well on Sulekha when he said do you ask Hollywood directors that did you see the aliens or dinosaurs then why torture Karan Johar saying why he made a movie on marriage without being married.
Well he made a bold attempt and its Classic stupid scripting but to say the least did anyone ever observe it is mostly stupid people who do bold things because sensible people think……and hence wont dare.

The only fine thing in the movie was when Amitabh says in the movie at least Rishi will have a chance to be loved truly by someone (Coz she being a hopeless case suited for that loser Dev…perfect match……………and yeah true even losers in this world like Rani and Shahrukh in the movie have a right to be winners in Love.)

So finally times have changed at least in movies……what could not be made by any director in Silsila days(though i think that ‘s the way you develop the story rather than the love at first sight way Johar developed..its a sin to compare these two movies anyway) is made by Johar in KANK.But whatever happens Indians love the regressive expensive Bhansali movies…..

Most funny though was watching Amitabh justifying his role on TV saying he’s open about all his activities with his son and not hiding it wow!!!!!.
In the end what we all forget is this is all BIG BUSINESS…..and its all about money honey…which KJ sure would’ve made enough.

Anyway all this talk reminds me of that excellent book called Anna Karenina by Tolstoy. If relationships have to be studied one must read it. It will make you see the futility in the end of most relationships i guess……..Gosh its such a sad tragic book and sooo upsetting that i never can get myself to write a review about it.

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Its probably only the second movie review on my Blog.I am not very good at this as i cant speak in all those artistic terms of cinematography and all that but well here’s how my KANK experience was.
After a long time i made enough fuss about getting tickets to a movie…hmm well did not manage to get them but my friend simply walked in and managed to get two in the afternoon. Well at the end of the movie i was glad all the fuss and energy i expended was on phone and net and not in person. Gosh what a kitsch of nonsense it turned out to be mostly.
Yes this is from a Shahrukh fan……this marks the begining of the end for Sharukh i guess as Bollywood’s best romantic.He simply did not look as good..its fine he fitted the part some may say but heck this movie is for Bollywood i guess and he should look good.
This movie is neither here nor there. Neither is this movie that beautiful chiffon saga which though absolutely unreal is great for people with romantic fantasies Nor is the movie a true class of art realistic story.

It simply irritates you…..its that stupid……its not like the theme is bad or zara hat ke or anything like that….. KANK is pure mixture of good intentions may be but terrible execution. It had what you’d call in software Integration issues(modules in themselves are great but they just dont work together).
If you just take Amitabh’s part as fun track he’s excellent but what the heck in this story is it needed and it seems so unnecessary and cheap.

If you want to know what zero chemistry means watch Shahrukh and Rani.Even the best direction will not make them look convincing as the most soulful lovers.

If you see this movie you will realise what difference Kajol makes to a movie.I thought K3G was a nonsensical movie but then it had such wonderful performances by Kajol and that part of the romance at least was enjoyable and beleivable.Though i hate amitabh’s chauvinist character in it very much.

Sentimentally of course i liked the scene where Amitabh asks Rani to leave Abhishek…honestly at least he would have chance to be loved which he deserved.

Abhishek ‘s great looks wise and acting wise quite touching and so was Preity as the strong one. Rani well i did not expect anything from her. Sharukh oh it was so dissapointing…he simply bored and irritated. What a hopeless character Dev’s character is.
KANK’s most enjoyable scene for me actually was when when Preity Zinta says at the end to Rani…”itni saza bas hai uske liye…nahi…abhi to tumhe Dev ke saath rehna hai”. Honestly living with such a character can be a torture…watching him was enough torture.

Actually the story i thought could have been written so very well if it had been written as a story and not a script which needs comedy, a Mother , a father and some humor and jokes. It was so ridiculous when Sharukh says he felt Rani was his soulmate when he met her on a bench…..Gosh…..I guess love at first sight is better handled by Mani Ratnam..even he gives it some time to sink in.
Even the song picturizations were not as good as usually these movies have.

Now i just am thinking how to avoid if someone asks me to come to see the movie again
as i had told people no issues i’ll come with you again when they asked me to wait till next week.

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From those animated conversations of those days

to the desperate attempts of these days

to keep the chord from breaking

how well are we traversing life among us

How we speak in familiar words

of whats left unsaid

of unspoken intimacies woven into

aimless chatter

professional banter

How we leave the blank spaces

for we dare not the possibilities

How we take the destined path

for we know the disparities

These conversations too

will become sparse with time

but what will remain is the thought ,

the unspoken and

the never to be spoken

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